Happy Little Trees

From Falling Down:

Look what I got.
We got a puppy.
We got a puppy.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Hi, puppy!

In college, my friends Paul and Rob used to quote the “Hi, puppy” line and then tackle somebody. It wasn’t that bad because both of them were barely a buck fifty put together (no offense, guys, I have no idea how buff you are now).


I left the puppy business as of January 1, 2007. I even declared my resignation in my Christmas letter excerpted below:

Over the summer, I “dogsat” like crazy. I didn’t say no to anyone. I spent time with Mandy the Dachshund, Autumn the Shiba Inu, Ariel the Airedale, Oscar the Border Collie, Mallie the Lab mix, the five English Springer Spaniel puppies plus the mamma, Sadie the Retriever, Cassius the Boxer, Gizmo the Pekingese, and Cody the Keeshond. Then I decided to stop dogsitting, except for Autumn, because she was the original dog I housesit for before things got out of control—the five puppies episode almost left me with gray hair like Cruella DeVille screaming, “Puppies! Puppies!” I’m passing on the rest of my business to other friends. (I apologize to other dogs I might have left out, like Emmy the mini-Yorkie and my precious Frida and Andy, but I don’t think I officially dogsat for them this year.)
If you are interested in dogsitting, please let me know. I’ve had three people call me this week to dogsit. And I’m done!!

I don’t even really like keeping pets in the house. I grew up in Kentucky where dogs live outside. And please don’t call PETA, but my dog "lived" on a chain for fifteen years! And now, by some strange twist of fate, I spend most weekends with a pooper scooper and a leash. I'm in pet purgatory!!

I’ve learned to make peace with pets in the house. But it still bothers me that most pets in America have better lives than most children in the world. Didn't mean for this post to end grim, but it's true. Our dogs probably shouldn't live on chains, but our children shouldn't be neglected either.

Note: Picture is of my niece, Emily, and Sparky