1)Wearing red bandanas Willie Nelson style to mow the lawn.

2)Sitting in his chair in the kitchen—reading the paper, preparing his SS lesson underlining stuff with his Cross pen, or eating (hyperfocused).

3)His class ring from Brescia (alma mater of Florence Henderson).

4)Opening the downstairs bathroom door and causing the air content of the house to rapidly change.

5)Sucking in his belly (the best he could) and patting it at the same time while making Tarzan noises.

6)Laughing really hard at Johnny Carson, then years later, David Letterman.

7)Taking his socks off after work and my brother and sister and I throwing them at each other for methods of torture.

8)Eating off my plate while he said, “Are you going to eat that?” or “Here, let me try that.”

9)Three driving stories: a) When he got away from the state trooper on backroads, b) when he came home with glass all over him because a deer tried to jump in the passenger side window, and c) when the whole wheel came off our jeep causing sparks to fly, and he calmly pulled over, and he and I walked a mile or two home.

10)The time I had him come fix my car when I was in college. It caught on fire, so he put it out with my mom’s sweater. I was out of gas. Whoops!

You might have already gotten this in a forward from your grandma, but this is pretty funny. If Gladys is your relative, let me know.

Did you know that Asians use different emoticons? We couldn’t agree on characters, but can’t we at least agree on emoticons?

I kind of like the Asians one better. They’re a little more expressive:
(9_9) rolling eyes
(e_o) eye twitching
(-.-)zzZ sleeping
(o)_(o) tired
and my favorite--
@-_-@ Princess Leia

Why, yes, I did use Wikipedia today! Can you tell?


About everyday, I have a conversation with my old college roommate and dear friend, Leslee. Below is a segment of our conversation during lunch. We got on the subject of her sister’s old dog (that was supposed to be a shitzu and turned out to be a mutt).

Leslee: Do you remember Stevi’s dog, Brady?
Beth: Yeah, I remember Brady, the dog that was supposed to be a purebred?
Leslee: Yeah. He’s still alive. He’s like a wolf now. He lives off the land. He comes home from being gone for a long time, and he has blood on his mouth.
Beth: Ewwww.
Leslee: Do you remember that time it like psycho-snowed? Well, Stevi’s husband was worried about Brady, and he finally found him in the neighbor's nativity scene lying in a manger.

I wish everybody could talk to Leslee everyday. Because it’s pretty hilarious. (Sorry for posting this on the internet, Leslee. Hope you don’t mind.)

I got called "red" today.

It was like this: "Hey, Red! Red! What's up Red?"

Somehow I managed a forced smile that showed no teeth or creases around my eyes.

Why, oh why, does this tick me off like it does? I'm no longer in third grade, or even in middle school, but I don't like it.

I don't support everything on this website, but it offers an interesting point of view: http://redheads-uk.freeservers.com/whatisredism03.html.

Well, a $67 haircut, plus a $13.25 product, plus the tip, I’m back from the Galleria. Almost forgot my new “work” outfit from Forth & Towne (big sale-oxymoron) that cost an additional $92. Geez. I better look good. If I’m going to play What Not To Wear, I really need that $5,000 visa card courtesy of TLC, not me.

No wonder I’ve been cutting my own hair (or having my friend cut it for free) for about three years. I tried to pretend I had never heard of such a thing by laughing like, “Ha! Ha! Ha!” as the hairdresser scoffed at her colleagues who attempted to cut their own hair. How ridiculous, right? I’ve never heard of such a thing so horrible…I hope I played it off.

Forth & Towne was a dream experience. It’s the new store that’s the grandmother of the Gap, cousin of Old Navy, and aunt of Banana Republic). Three very excited people greeted me at the door (just like in Pretty Woman after they know she has money to spend). And I even had a stylist and a dressing room and a bottle of water (whoah!), and left with a pair of gray pants and a nice blue collared shirt.

Maybe it was the haircut. I guess with a haircut like this, I’m going to have to take out a loan to support the accessories that go with it. I wonder how much a Land Rover cost (my jeep might need an upgrade)…

I'm getting a real haircut tonight at a real hair place, and not from my own bathroom, or a friend's kitchen--even though all those haircuts have been spectacular and free.

I typed in "red curly hair" to look for maybe a change. This is what came up first on the list.

Uhhhh...maybe not.

Almost a year ago, I had one of the most horrifying experiences of my life. I accidentally sent a guy friend a text message that was supposed to be to my old college roommate. The message said something like, “I’m in training all day. No food. I love [insert his first and last name here].” I was concentrating so hard on spelling his name right in the text, I sent it to him. I was horrified. Mortified. All of the above.

I’ve given advice before that when you love someone, you have to tell them. Romantic love is quite a tricky thing, though. It’s a delicate balance—or a delicate dance where you don’t want to step on toes or be doing the wrong dance. The guy might be doing the Macarena by himself, and you really want to waltz, and it’s just not going to happen. But you just don’t know!

Proverbs 27:5
says this, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.”

So does that mean you just tell someone? Scary. I can tell my family and friends very easily, but the romantic love puts a whole new spin on things. I’m not sure what the verse means. In the words of the great philosopher Belinda Carlisle, my lips are sealed.

Warning: Deep and Shallow Thought Combinations Ahead

1)I feel like God has finally given me some steps and a basic direction to a life plan.
2)I realized the importance of prayer and reading God’s word—again.
3)I met with old friends and rediscovered how much I am blessed by them.
4)I got encouragement from new friends.
5)I made friends with a dog that used to get on my nerves.
6)An old heart hurt has been healed.
7)I had the best vegan oatcake ever from Whole Foods. Fresh. Wonderful. It was a very special moment in my personal history of food consumption.
8)I made a pledge not to pay $3.99 for a cup of soup from Whole Foods anymore.
9)There is such a thing as a best friend, and I love my best friend.
10)Telling jokes to yourself in your head and laughing out loud is okay.

I was enjoying my cinnamon dolce latte (light whip and non-fat) when Jesus showed up. Before I realized he was there, I was captivated by the music. I heard a really cool French song that I can never figure out the name to, and then I heard Mambo Italiana. I love that song! It makes me want to mambo.

Then, I overheard the group of three next to me say, “Do you see G?” They kept saying it to one another, and they were laughing. Then I realized they were actually saying, “Do you see Jesus?” And they kept looking out the window. I looked hard at the window. And then I saw Jesus! He’s been there for a long time and I never noticed him. He’s huge, standing with open arms at the hospital.

Another couple near me was having a conversation. They met each other to study (or that’s what I originally thought), but their conversation was not about any subject except about Jesus.

This is what I heard (paraphrased):

Her: My mom didn’t say I needed to go to church, but we went sometimes.
Him: What made you want to get interested in religion?
Her: I don’t know. As you get older, you start to wonder…

Immediately, I’m interested. The conversation continues:

Him: I started going to a church because I wanted to be a better person—which might have been selfishly motivating at first…God loves me. He has a plan for my life. No one is perfect. I thought, “That makes sense.” Sin separates me from God. I thought, “Hmmm…that makes sense, too.” Jesus is the only one who can fill that separation. I’m an engineer, and there’s a gap. Two plus two is four. And Jesus closes the gap. Makes sense.”…I had a friend that was a Christian and wasn’t super outspoken about her faith, but her character was different…

I prayed for him and her. And for the Holy Spirit to be there in Starbucks. I prayed that she could see Jesus. From the angle where I was sitting, Jesus was standing right over her shoulder with open arms! I could see it. I see it. I know it. Can she see him? I pray so.

Last night, I watched The Office. http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/.

My sister first found the show, so for Christmas, I bought her the first season on DVD. We all watched it and laughed and laughed.

I was a little reluctant to like the show because I really liked the BBC version and felt pretty cool for liking the BBC version, and kind of wanted to snub the NBC version, but I caved. It's really funny. Last night, I heard myself laughing way too loud. I almost scared myself.

Once upon a time, two lovely ladies decided to meet and chat over chips at Chuy’s. The creamy jalapeno ranch dressing was flowing simultaneously with laughter and tears. It was a good time.

The ladies were having such a good time that they decided it might be nice to go for a nightcap of tasty, hot chocolate. They sped down the street to a quaint little place and asked the barista for some cups in which to fill with tasty, hot chocolate.

After filling their cups to the brim, the ladies sat to continue sharing stories. A tiny white something was found in the drink of one of the lovely ladies. The other lovely lady helped her fish it out. And so they took a few sips. Apparently the slushing of the drink brought to life something that was sleeping in the glass.

Before their eyes, the ladies witnessed multiple white skin-like floaties popping up! The white, floating, hot chocolate ghosts made the ladies scream. They scooped one out and examined it in disbelief. It had the appearance of curdled milk.

They ran to the barista and asked for coffee and tea in exchange for haunted hot chocolate. Luckily, the establishment had an official Ghost Buster on hand. He showed the lovely ladies what was causing the spiritual disturbance. He had opened the canister of hot chocolate and showed them Hot Chocolate Ghost that were the size of a man’s hand. The lovely ladies turned their heads in disgust, and then sat down to nice cups of tea and coffee and planned their morning talk show.

Why couldn't we be closed today? The only time in history, besides for flooding, we could have a chance at having a day off, and we didn't get it. Did they flip a coin for closures and our business lost?

Apparently, this is where I need to be today. I will make the most of it. I will be happy about it.

Did that sound convincing?

This morning, I was one of the lucky people who had to go to work. I didn’t want to drive into the med center, because I didn’t want to have to deal with the parking garage. [Do parking garages freeze before roadways?] I got out my trust pink-handled scraper, and scraped the ice off my windshield for the first time in about six years. [I still got the technique!]

I drove to the end of my street to catch a Metro bus. I kept waiting and staring down the street, but I never saw the bus, so I thought I better hike to the other route which is probably about a half mile. I saw the Bellaire bus running the opposite direction, so I knew the buses must be running. I decided to cut through the CVS parking lot to save a few steps, and then I noticed the Bellaire bus I needed sitting at the stop light. So I started running through the parking lot.

Here’s where the miracle happens: The bus driver actually pulled over at least 100 feet before the stop—with me at least 50 feet from him—for me to get on the bus. I couldn’t believe it. I thought maybe the bus was broken or something. But he stopped for me. As I put my bus ticket in, I gushed, “You’re the best bus driver in the whole world!”

Maybe it was a little too much, because the other four people on the 75 passenger bus looked at me weird. Oh well. He is the best bus driver in the whole world. Thank you, God, for my bus driver.

Okay, I really don't think he was a double-O, but I got my purse back! The cell phone is gone, but I got a call from a security guy in one of the hospitals here, and my purse was found! (The man was actually wearing a secret earpiece and a dark sports coat--his Aston Martin was probably parked in the TMC garage) My car keys (and my key to success) as well as my wallet (with my $3.50 CVS coupon) were all intact. Praise God! It was a miracle.

I think this was kind of a test of faith for me. I never thought I'd see that purse again. Everyone else had faith it would return, but I didn't. I did know that whatever happened, God would take care of me. And He did. And He has. And He will.

In other issues, I saw the new James Bond movie. I liked it, but the new James Bond scares me a bit. He didn't seem to be that refined. He was almost too rough on the edges. --But I would probably still kiss him, although all the women who kissed him wound up dead...On second thought, he can keep his 00lips to himself.

Have you ever seen the crosses that are etched into nickels (illegally)? I had one on my key chain (r.i.p. to my keys since the purse disappearance). And somehow it wound up in my work bag. It should have been on my keychain—and then I would have never seen it again. But there it was today, with the cross carved in the middle, and IN GOD WE TRUST saying, “hi.” It kind of was comforting to find.

God is teaching me a lot through this whole experience. Hopefully, I’m being a good pupil. A pupil with open pupils, so to speak.

Maybe I'll just cancel my service. Who needs cell phones, anyway?! They are so overrated and just a way for men to separate themselves even more! Are you cool enough to have a Razor? Or are you in the special class of citizens that have the Blackberry (stop saying you wish you didn't have it! That's like saying, "I really hate making this much money!")? Or are you in the low class Nokia state of life where you still don't have a color screen?! Ugh! Americans rate their status by cell phones, and we know it!!

Readers. I believe this is the stage of grief known as "Anger." It's like detoxing or something. Help. Help. Last night, I actually read a book.

Secretly, I've been wanting a Motorola Q for a long time. Today, on the Cingular site, I saw an ad for the new Apple phone. It's like an iPod that's a phone and a PDA. If it can warm up my poptarts, too, I'm going to sell my plasma until I can afford it. Will I ever be cured??

Cell phone.
My cell phone.
You're out there somewhere.
All alone.

Who has you?
And are they treating you nice?
Or throwing you around
Like some Vegas dice?

You store up the numbers
Of my friends and peeps.
I won't get another cell
For about a week.

Oh, cell phone.
Sometimes you drove me crazy.
I didn't want to pick up.
Just wanted to be lazy.

I admit it.
I screened some calls.
But without that,
I wouldn't get sleep at all.

I lost you.
I left you to the wolves.
Cell phone,
You lit up like jewels.

I'm free!!!!!!! For about a week.

Today Elvis is 72.

And I lost my purse. I don't know if it was purse-napped, or what exactly happened. I went to eat lunch in the med center, read a book, and then left to go back to work. I went back to look for my purse after I realized it was missing, and it was gone. No one had seen it.

Inside: my wallet (with credit cards and debit card and license), my keys (to success, work, home, and my YMCA key tag), and my cell phone.

Not inside: my family, my friends, my car, my pillow, or my health.

1. Chai Tea Lattes w/ soy from Starbucks
2. Fitness/Fashion Magazines
3. One-of-a-Kind Shoes
4. Hugs
5. Frisbee-Catching Dogs
6. Sunny Days (with a high of 75)
7. Laughing
8. Hearing other people laugh
9. Sudoku
10. Nice People
11. Chips and Salsa Verde
12. Gelato
13. Lizards that change colors
14. One-Year Daily Bible
15. Berries
16. Airborne
17. Make-up
18. Vicky’s Secret Lipgloss
19. Dancing
20. Pictures of my friends’ kids
Jodi and Carpenter


Evie and Jen

I took this picture from the plane on Monday. Was that just 3 days ago? Whoah. It's been a long year.

I couldn’t find last year’s resolutions, but I found my 2005 Resolutions, and I noticed several things that I am still resolving to do:

1) Read through the Bible.
2) Master my French for Dummies CD.
3) Lower my debt.
4) Exercise five times a week.
5) Eat fruits and veggies every day.

Now is this stuff happening? Well, I actually bought a one-year Bible this year, and on January 3rd, I’m reading the January 2nd installment. I did make a big payment to my credit card, which means I’m eating pasta every night for the next couple of months. But I also bought some broccoli florets and some apples and bananas at Target last night, after I went to exercise.

I’m really excited about my New Year’s Resolution Jeans. They’re a brand that I’ve been wanting to buy for a couple of years. They’re the perfect jeans: dark wash, straight leg and they were on sale! I need to get them hemmed, and I also need to work off the cheese ball and ice cream cake that I ate over the holiday, and then, I will be in the jeans!! http://www.7forallmankind.com/.

I’m aiming for January 31. I'll take pictures and post them on the day.

I got an e-mail in my hotmail spam entitled "Bethannphetamines." Should I be concerned? Has a new drug with my name started sweeping the nation? I wonder if the Methodist felt that way when it happened to them.

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.
Hopefully, this shows the states I've been in. I copied this from Dovie. :)

I'm so tired today. I felt like I traveled to all these states over the holiday, but I think I really only was in two states. I probably traveled through about 20 counties. I'm tired.

Happy New Year!!