Happy Little Trees

At my new office, I am the candy bowl holder--it's a dangerous role for me as a former candy junkie. It's a crystal bowl, and when people walk by my cube area, they dig in and get some candy. It was filled with the traditional Starlite mints, but I found some Halloween candy in the desk from the last employee, so I added that to the bowl.
 
And today, I put in some Twinkies that were a gift from my friend, Kim. I ate one of them, but there is no way I'm eating an entire box of Twinkies--especially when I watched four episodes in a row of Dr. Oz on the Discovery Health Channel this past weekend. So, I've got the Twinkies in the crystal bowl. I almost feel like I've left out rat poison or something (they're filled with fatty oils and high fructose corn syrup, God bless them), but I tell everyone who grabs one to eat at their own risk.
 
I think Dr. Oz would eat a Twinkie. Sometimes, eating a Twinkie is the right thing to do.
 
Ode to Twinkies
 
Twinkies, you are so cute.
But you make me look fat in my birthday suit.
I wish you tasted bad.
Then losing you wouldn't make me sad.
 
Twinkies, stop looking so tasty.
Filled with white cream that squeezes like toothpasty.
I am losing my mind.
The more I eat, the more I get behind.
 
Twinkies, this is love.
But from below or above?
It will last forever.
Because your expire date is never.

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I don't know if other states are as proud of their shape as Texas. Before moving here, a friend at camp shared with me some nacho chips in the shape of Texas. I thought that was a little strange. After living here for several years, it seems completely normal.
 
I spent the weekend in Pearland and spent some time walking around a neighborhood. I noticed lots of ornamental lawn stones in the shape of Texas. Almost everybody has something "Texas" displayed on their property. So if I ever pass out and feel disoriented, I can wake up, check out the lawn, and instantly find a Texas marker..."Whew! Thought I might be in Kansas!" (And for the record, I am from KENTUCKY, not KANSAS--not a point of contention, but it comes up quite often when I tell people where I am from. The brain somehow interprets Kentucky as Kansas in approximately 75% of the people who ask me.)
 
I wonder if Texas is the most recognized state shape? Perhaps the shape of Colorado could be found everywhere, but then it is strikingly very similar to Wyoming, and let's face it, they're just rectangles. The shape of CO and WY are also the shape of my cereal box and my television--not a real challenge for shape recognition.
 
I guess Texas is kind of a square tilted on its tip with unique cuts made into it. I wouldn't put it passed the Texas state government to try to get the shape of Texas recognized as one of the major shaped to be learned in pre-K.
 
The longer I live here, the more I identify with the shape of Texas. When I see it, my heart flutters a little faster than when looking at a rectangle. I haven't reached the Texas pride level of buying lawn decor in the shape of Texas, but I wouldn't mind the chips or even having a couple of t-shirts.

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I have some friends in NC who are my outdoorsy role models. They have all been very active in Outward Bound, and the dad of the family is nicknamed The Gray Wolf. (Is gray spelled "gray" or "grey"?) It's a really cool nickname, and it fits him because he has super keen forest/outdoor survivor skills, and he's become a handsome gray-headed man over the years. I like gray on him, but not on me.
 
For a little over a year, I've been noticing not just the graying of America, but the graying of Beth. At first, the little gray devil shot up with fury. It glared at me in the mirror as a crazy white squiggle sprouting out of my head. I yanked that sucker hard, but not before also taking a few innocent darker haired bystanders. Ouch! And then the gray pack, brought out reinforcements. Sometimes they hide out, but then, when I least expect it, normally in bright light, they show themselves again. I estimate that about 20-40 of them have camped out on my head.
 
My new first plan of attack:
Get some John Frieda color shampoo which might help shadow the gray team. If that doesn't work, I'll make like Bill Monroe and pluck--but if I fear that this might be too painful, and this plan could leave me with bald patches.
 
My last result:
Dye it.
 
I've been warned many times by hairdressers, grandmothers, co-workers, strangers, etc. about the evils of hair dying. How in the world do you dye red hair? And how will I answer the question, "Is that your natural hair color?" Will I say, "No."? Oh, the horror!
 
And it's one more expense I don't need in my life. Hair coloring can be time consuming, and I could put that money to good use like supporting missionaries...or my Starbucks/Target habit (just being honest).
 
Have a Happy Little Friday, and if you have any advice for a redhead in gray distress, let me know.

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I have new job, a new place to live, and need a new boyfriend--not that the old one, Mr. N. Visible (the "N" stands for Nobody, has been rude or anything. But it's time of newness.
 
I also need a new microwave. Maybe that would be easier to find than some random boyfriend. And honestly, I don't believe in looking for boyfriends, but I do believe in looking for microwaves.

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I love cheese. My favorite cheese is Port Wine cheese, which my friend Emily says reminds her of a birthmark. Despite being grossed out every time I hear that reference, I still love it.
 
Ice cream is good, but I really could give it up, but not cheese. I wish it was socially acceptable to eat cheese out of bowl like ice cream. And then, I could go to a Cheese Parlor and get a scoop of cheese. Yummy. (See? I have a problem.)
 
Today I had a nice salad for lunch with some feta on top. I think this is my second feta dose of the week. I ate a slice of pizza with some feta on top on Tuesday. Feta is really good on pizza and salad, and it makes a nice showing on pasta, too.
 
If I ever have a kid, I might name it Feta. It's kind of a cute name, or would it be considered kind of cheesy?
 
 
 

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When I was in third grade, I had a poem published in the local paper called, "When I have a cold..." The editors changed it to "Whenever I have a cold..."

But it went something like this:

"When I have a cold, I don't know what to do.
All I can say is boo hoo hooo.
When I have a cold, I feel real sick.
I want to get better real quick.
My nose feel like a waterhose."

I can't remember the rest, but it was a pretty amazing poem, and sums up my feelings right now.

My cold moved from chest to nose and I'm hoping it evaporates out of my head.

Please practice frequent hand-washing. And don't be afraid to tell your friends that they can't drink out of your water bottle.

Tomorrow is my last day at my current job. I am leaving the medical education world, and entering a new land and brand of geniuses.

I've made some great friends at this job, and sometimes have marveled that I've gotten to become friends with some people who deal with crisis situations and modern medical breakthroughs everyday (well, maybe not every day). It's been kind of like being an extra on General Hospital or something. The whole doctor life was somewhat of a mystery before working here. My main experience with physicians was what I watched on t.v., so I've had many eye opening experiences.

I've learned that there's a difference between physicians who are clinically focused, and those that focus on academics. I've learned that it is difficult to balance everything in a doctor's life: family, work, kids, etc., but some can do a pretty amazing job at it.

I've learned that the best doctors aren't always the most well-known, but sometimes those with the biggest hearts. And when a doctor's heart is big, miracles can and do happen.

Also, the biggest secret is that the person running the real show, doesn't even have a m.d. by her name, but without her, we all might as well throw in the towel.

It takes a village to raise a doctor.

Things that won’t happen at my other job:

1) 9 out of 10 people wearing scrubs at a business meeting.
2) Messages on my voicemail that say, “Sorry I missed your call, I was in the OR.”
3) Hearing someone say, “Well, looks like we need to talk to the chiefs.”
4) Waiting for the red light to light up on the duty hours hotline.
5) Questioning someone about the number of FNAs/CABGs/echos/EGDs etc. they’ve done for the month.
6) Meetings scheduled (or suddenly cancelled) around patient visits.
7) Making sure that someone has gone home after working 30 hours straight.
8) Having a fear that when I’m bit by a mosquito that it’s been genetically altered or infected with malaria.
9) Being scared of going to the subbasement (where they hide the bodies).
10) Calling pager numbers.