Happy Little Trees

I consider myself to be a fairly creative person. I love the theater and have been known to play quite a variety of characters in plays and sketches. But for some reason, I get thrown for a loop every Halloween. The whole idea of a costume haunts me every year. Maybe it’s just too much pressure.

When I was probably eleven, I dressed up like Ed Grimley for the church Halloween party (this was before Halloween got banned from churches). Little did I know that it might not be appropriate for an eleven-year-old to dress up as a character from an SNL sketch. I spent the whole night explaining how I was NOT Pee Wee Herman (which at the time would have been more appropriate). http://www.edgrimley.com/blank.htm

Then, at Jason Bailey’s last big Halloween bash, I decided to be a woman from India. I sprayed my hair black and didn’t realize until I glanced at myself in the bathroom mirror at the party that I had developed a case of black beard. I tried wrapping a scarf around my head to cover up the beard, but the more I danced, the more the scarf would shift and expose my black beard. I spent the whole night in turmoil—should I dance? Or should I hide my face? I danced.

I’ve been invited to a friend’s party on Saturday. I have no clue what to be. Should I take the cutesy approach (which makes me hurl)? For just one Halloween, I just would like to experience hearing this all night, “Hey! Great costume!”, instead of, “What are you?”.

I am the Charlie Brown of costumes. I’ll guess I’ll just get a sheet and cut Swiss cheese holes in it. And maybe I’ll wear a wig and glitter eyelashes under the costume just for fun.