I was going to hide it.
On Sunday afternoon, I snuck over to the nearest red box rental and scoped through the selections. There it was--the movie I had tried to avoid watching for its cheesiness...but nobody would have to know I watched it...that is, of course, unless I published the fact on the internet like I'm about to do!
Okay! Okay! I watched the second Twilight movie! And it wasn't too terribly bad, but I can't stop the spoofs that keep forming in my head. I also can't stop toying with some evaluations on the relationships displayed in the movie--which apparently is the whole purpose of romantic "literature" anyway.
[warning spoilers to follow]
Bella is faced with two suitors: a werewolf and a vampire. Boy, do I understand where this girl is coming from! I have been in her shoes too many times!
Basically, Bella must choose her true, deep, and first love of Edward, the vampire who broke up with her and left her in a deep depression, and the new love she found with Jacob, her friend turned love interest who also happens to have secretly completed the P90X workout because his abs ripple like the Colorado River.
It's a difficult decision. Both are striking creations of inner depth and outward beauty. But both have a dark side.
If Bella chooses Edward, she must die to life as a human, and I guess give her soul to the devil or evil--and become a vampire for eternity. If she chooses Jacob, she risks living with an angry wolfman that could rip her face off if his uncontrollable temper flares (it's a wolf thing). They both love her deeply. Her heart wants to choose both of them, but that is not an option.
A different choice that was not really pursued was a third gentlemen caller in the movie. I can't even remember his name, because the depth of his character was skimmed over. But I think he would be the best selection for Bella. I will call him "Movie Nerd" for lack of a better description.
Movie Nerd asked Bella on a date after he found out she and Edward were splitsville. When Movie Nerd went to meet Bella, she had brought Jacob along to be a third wheel. Bella insisted on watching a disgusting movie because she didn't want to think about romance since her heart was still broken over Edward. Movie Nerd was so grossed out by the movie, that he had to go throw up. Bella and Jacob laughed at him, and he left the movie feeling a bit like, well, a nerd.
As a 20 year veteran of the dating world, my advice to Bella is to go for the Movie Nerd! He has a lot going for him. For starters, he's human. He won't make you sell your soul to be with him, nor will he rip your face off if he gets irritated. Both of those are major selling points! Also, if he threw up at the gross movie, he might be sensitive. Another good thing that represents his human emotions.
I also thought it would be cool if the movie could have Jesus show up. Perhaps Movie Nerd could know Jesus! And then, Movie Nerd, although on the outside displaying weakness, would have the spirit of the Lord inside on him and he could call out those demons and send them where they belong! Because the power of Jesus far outweighs any mind reading or shape shifting that those imaginary powers of vampires and werewolves have.
Adios to Team Edward and Team Jacob, and hola, Team Jesus!
...and if Entertainment Tonight calls for more movie reviews, feel free to give them my number.
On Sunday afternoon, I snuck over to the nearest red box rental and scoped through the selections. There it was--the movie I had tried to avoid watching for its cheesiness...but nobody would have to know I watched it...that is, of course, unless I published the fact on the internet like I'm about to do!
Okay! Okay! I watched the second Twilight movie! And it wasn't too terribly bad, but I can't stop the spoofs that keep forming in my head. I also can't stop toying with some evaluations on the relationships displayed in the movie--which apparently is the whole purpose of romantic "literature" anyway.
[warning spoilers to follow]
Bella is faced with two suitors: a werewolf and a vampire. Boy, do I understand where this girl is coming from! I have been in her shoes too many times!
Basically, Bella must choose her true, deep, and first love of Edward, the vampire who broke up with her and left her in a deep depression, and the new love she found with Jacob, her friend turned love interest who also happens to have secretly completed the P90X workout because his abs ripple like the Colorado River.
It's a difficult decision. Both are striking creations of inner depth and outward beauty. But both have a dark side.
If Bella chooses Edward, she must die to life as a human, and I guess give her soul to the devil or evil--and become a vampire for eternity. If she chooses Jacob, she risks living with an angry wolfman that could rip her face off if his uncontrollable temper flares (it's a wolf thing). They both love her deeply. Her heart wants to choose both of them, but that is not an option.
A different choice that was not really pursued was a third gentlemen caller in the movie. I can't even remember his name, because the depth of his character was skimmed over. But I think he would be the best selection for Bella. I will call him "Movie Nerd" for lack of a better description.
Movie Nerd asked Bella on a date after he found out she and Edward were splitsville. When Movie Nerd went to meet Bella, she had brought Jacob along to be a third wheel. Bella insisted on watching a disgusting movie because she didn't want to think about romance since her heart was still broken over Edward. Movie Nerd was so grossed out by the movie, that he had to go throw up. Bella and Jacob laughed at him, and he left the movie feeling a bit like, well, a nerd.
As a 20 year veteran of the dating world, my advice to Bella is to go for the Movie Nerd! He has a lot going for him. For starters, he's human. He won't make you sell your soul to be with him, nor will he rip your face off if he gets irritated. Both of those are major selling points! Also, if he threw up at the gross movie, he might be sensitive. Another good thing that represents his human emotions.
I also thought it would be cool if the movie could have Jesus show up. Perhaps Movie Nerd could know Jesus! And then, Movie Nerd, although on the outside displaying weakness, would have the spirit of the Lord inside on him and he could call out those demons and send them where they belong! Because the power of Jesus far outweighs any mind reading or shape shifting that those imaginary powers of vampires and werewolves have.
Adios to Team Edward and Team Jacob, and hola, Team Jesus!
...and if Entertainment Tonight calls for more movie reviews, feel free to give them my number.
0 comments: