Happy Little Trees

I watched part of The Bachelor last night. My favorite phrase that I kept hearing over and over from the ladies was this:

“I really felt like there was a connection between us…”

I’m not Dr. Phil or anything, but if the man of your dreams also has a connection with twenty or so other women, there might be a problem.

This guy is playing about 20 girls at one time, and that’s what he’s told to do per the producers. The women have to pursue the man, and backbite each other in order to win. It’s seems much like high school. I already lived through that. All the girls find the one cutest guy available and fight over him like they’re in Toys-R-Us during the 1983 Cabbage Patch Doll War, and they fight to the finish until they have been clawed, bitten, and one receives the “prize.” And 30 years from now (or worse case scenario about 3), they’re all like, “I fought for that?!” Love isn’t Survivor (but perhaps marriage is!). And it isn’t always that dramatic.

I think the best twist would be if the Bachelor fell in love with one of the camera women or his make-up artist. That would be fun. The show is getting dried up and boring. At least switch colors of roses or change types of flowers or something. These bachelors are all really nice looking, but the show makes them seem like they’re not very interesting.

Well, now you know all the reasons that I would never be on The Bachelor. That, and the fact I would never go on public television sporting a bikini. (Are they only allowed to pack bikinis and evening gowns?) Unless I was playing beach volleyball. And since I have no volleyball skills and I’m 5’3” and not 6 feet, I will not be doing that either.