Happy Little Trees

It’s Halloween, and I haven’t even had any of those little marshmallow pumpkins. My dentist would be so proud. I have on Holy Ghost earrings I bought on my trip. It’s my only holiday decoration today except for my outfit which is my interpretation of being in the Johnny Cash [wo]Man in Black club.

This week I learned:
-Be kind—even to people that hurt your feelings or who get on your nerves.
-Give if God leads you to do so. And don’t be chintzy about it.

Cool Bible Stories I read in my one-year bible:
-The story about Elijah and the widow who took care of him—her oil and flour jars were NEVER empty because God kept them filled.
-Elijah wanted to give up sometimes too, but he didn’t.
-Jesus gave Judas bread and then Satan entered him when he ate it. (sometimes carbs are bad.)

Dreams:
Why were the Breedlove Quads in my dream last night? And also other multiples of babies?

Announcements:
-I got a special award at work. It says, “Give me a high 5, I saved somebody’s booty today!”
-Happy Little Trees is taking a vacation on Monday and Tuesday. See you Wednesday.

I bought Listerine whitening strips several months ago. I don’t recommend them—or at least using them in public. You’ll be a cross between a rabid dog and a one-week non-brusher waking up in the morning. It’s pretty gross. They’re supposed to melt off, but it doesn’t quite work.

I wish I could follow through with the white strips long enough to really see a difference. Two weeks is long time to walk around like a rabid dog. Or I wish I could do a self-study where I whiten the right side, but leave the left side normal—kind of like in those old head-and-shoulders commercials.

What is the obsession with tooth whitening? In the 80s were we all just a bunch of yellow-toothers and nobody really noticed?

I don't think it's possible. But God could do it because nothing is impossible with God. He'll probably show us that trick in heaven.

Hungry. I’m always hungry. I eat, and then I’m hungry again. But if I don’t handle the hunger properly, I can reach the status called stuffed in a matter of about 15 minutes. I don’t like being stuffed. And I don’t like being hungry. What a conundrum. I better think this over during lunch.

I got to see Dave Barnes & Mr. Matt Wertz in concert last night. They're so laid back and really enjoy playing music. Their concert feels like you're hanging out with your brother's cute friends that are also really funny.

I like all of Dave Barnes' cheesy love songs. They're really not that cheesy for love songs, but maybe a little queso-y. And I love queso, therefore I love the songs.

And Matt Wertz was fun to watch because he gets really, really into playing his guitar and sings his heart out. This boy does not know subtle. When he's performing, it's with full gusto.

Click on the links and become their fans.

I ran on the Y treadmill last night. I logged 2.25 miles. I thought I could use the Y radio/TV system, but the TV was focused on twelve years olds and birth control in Maine. And the only radio station was on zydeco. I went with running to zydeco. I think most of the songs were about dancing with women in Lake Charles.

Beside my treadmill, a girl in her twenties (which is by default the natural enemy of a thirty-something single woman) was flirting with some young gentleman. I was instantly put off with the twenty-something girl because she was wearing pearls with her t-shirt to workout at the Y.

My first thought was, “She must be a Baylor grad.” I kind of shocked myself with that thought because I’m not originally from Texas, and honestly have no particular feelings one way or another about Texas schools and/or their graduates. I have just about much interest debating Kroger vs. Randalls. If we’re talking U of L and UK, then we have a different story.

My friend, Stephanie, Baylor Class of ’98, told me that girls at Baylor used to go for runs around campus while wearing pearls and full make-up, so I guess that’s how that thought got into my head.

What in the world else is floating in this head of mine?

And why did I dig my pearls out of the jewelry box and wear them to work today?

But I will not be wearing them to the Y.

I am plum tuckered out.

Last weekend, I was a weekend-nanny. I was too tired to write a nanny diary. Normally, I can party like a rockstar and have no problem staying up until 2 or so, but I didn’t get enough sleep through the week, and over the weekend, I didn’t get to catch up, and now, here I am at Thursday wishing I had an afternoon appointment with my pillow and high thread count sheets.

Sleep. Sleep.
You are so sweet.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Slip. Slip.
Away I go.
I meet the sheep.
I dance with Peep.
The cow jumps.
The moon ducks.
Sleep. Sleep.
A precious treat.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Dream a dream.
Spot a moonbeam.
Peaceful, restful,
Beautiful, sleep.

I woke up this morning not really wanting to go to work. All I could think of was: Calgon, take me away!

How do people become morning people? I thought that it’s got to be some type of secret. An Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

I rushed to find something to put on and wouldn’t you know it—on my favorite shirt—
ring around the collar.

I needed energy. Maybe something sweet. I looked all around at the buildings as I drove to the med center but my mind was distracted. In these times it seems like whatever it is I think I see, becomes a tootsie roll to me.

A lady was walking her dog along Hermann Park. That dog was moving faster than the owner. At the stoplight, I yelled out, “That’s a fast dog.” She replied, “I’ve got a dog his name is Bo, and he’s got the high pro glow!”

You might be asking yourself, “Beth. Why did you write this today? Why?”

And all I can say in return is sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don’t.

-If Nick Lachey’s band would have been called 68 degrees instead of 98 degrees, I think they would have been more successful. 68 degrees feels so nice.

-I brought dry cereal, dried cranberries, organic yogurt, and an apple for snacks at work, and just inhaled a cheesecake brownie I found on the counter in the office kitchen.

-I have 56 rollover minutes left for daytime talk to last me until November 3rd. I should have reevaluated cutting my cell phone plan before starting a cell phone roam-ance. So if you’re not a M2M friend, hope you have a nice Halloween! We’ll talk turkey later!

Ramadan ended on October 12th. I broke my bread fast for Indonesia that I did during Ramadan by eating a turkey and swiss grilled sandwich on Saturday. Dee-lish. And now, I am eating bread once again. Welcome home, carbs! (that was my belly talking)

This morning, I wanted to eat the whole-wheat blueberry pancakes from the work cafeteria that I had been craving for a month. After our staff meeting was finally over, I rushed to place my order before breakfast ended. I barely made the cut-off.

When I got back to my desk, I dug into the pancakes, but noticed something a bit strange about my blueberry pancakes—I couldn’t find the blueberries. In the two pancakes, I found one blueberry. ONE. I don’t know what this means. But I feel there has to be a symbolism in this situation. It was just too unusual.

Maybe this is my gateway inspiration for becoming a fortune cookie writer: In breakfast, better one lonely blueberry, than one lonely bug.

Sometimes I miss my family a lot.

I especially miss my nieces and nephews. Being far from home is hard, because when you don’t see adults for six months, their hairstyle might be different, and they might have lost/gained a few pounds, but kids can change drastically. I’ve missed diaper changes (okay, maybe that’s not sad), kindergarten graduations, loose teeth, basketball games, and knowing who their friends are. But I do get to periodically step in and catch up on what is going on. My oldest niece, Christan, is a senior this year, and I think it’s given me a bit of her senioritis, and the need to reminisce.

I remember when each one of them was born (I was closer to home in those years –partly because I was still in high school for two of them!).

When they showed us Christan in the window, she had a floppy ear. Later, she would say, it’s waving “hi.” Her ear still waves just a teeny bit. It’s really cute. And she knows it. And tells us in case we forget.

Katie, now 15, had a little bitty bow put in her hair with toothpaste in the hospital nursery. Until about age 6, she showed everyone that picture a million times and had to point out the toothpaste in her hair.

David, 13, made me laugh even as a baby. He looks pretty much the same as he did from the first glance I had at him in the nursery window. He just makes you laugh.

Jonathan, 12, was so cute and became very sick a week he was born, so we prayed fiercely for him and cried when we saw him so lifeless. We recounted the fateful tale to him last week on his 12th birthday.

Marissa, soon to be 11, was two months premature and the tiniest baby I had ever seen. Her socks didn’t even touch her ankles, but hung like cuffs. And her hair was red even at 3lb 9oz.

Emily, 6, was another miracle baby. My dad had died three months before she was born, and my sister had been on bed rest all through that time determined to see the pregnancy through. My first memory of Emily was seeing her wailing as she went through the “welcome to the world” nursery assembly line. She still does a great job of making herself known when she enters the room.

It’s been so neat to see their personalities develop and know that some things, such as brains and cuteness (and being a smart alec--which they are all very good at just like me) are family traits that are passed down. They are chess champions, dog trainers, dancers, comedians, actors and actresses, and love God. And they are my precious, so precious, nieces and nephews.

(Christan, sorry the pic of you has one of your eyes squinting. I’ll do a special Christan page soon.)

Can you believe that there is a Jello Museum?

Learn all about it.

Wow.

Why does it taste different in those prepackaged containers? I need to make some fresh instant jello--like mom used to make.

I watched part of The Bachelor last night. My favorite phrase that I kept hearing over and over from the ladies was this:

“I really felt like there was a connection between us…”

I’m not Dr. Phil or anything, but if the man of your dreams also has a connection with twenty or so other women, there might be a problem.

This guy is playing about 20 girls at one time, and that’s what he’s told to do per the producers. The women have to pursue the man, and backbite each other in order to win. It’s seems much like high school. I already lived through that. All the girls find the one cutest guy available and fight over him like they’re in Toys-R-Us during the 1983 Cabbage Patch Doll War, and they fight to the finish until they have been clawed, bitten, and one receives the “prize.” And 30 years from now (or worse case scenario about 3), they’re all like, “I fought for that?!” Love isn’t Survivor (but perhaps marriage is!). And it isn’t always that dramatic.

I think the best twist would be if the Bachelor fell in love with one of the camera women or his make-up artist. That would be fun. The show is getting dried up and boring. At least switch colors of roses or change types of flowers or something. These bachelors are all really nice looking, but the show makes them seem like they’re not very interesting.

Well, now you know all the reasons that I would never be on The Bachelor. That, and the fact I would never go on public television sporting a bikini. (Are they only allowed to pack bikinis and evening gowns?) Unless I was playing beach volleyball. And since I have no volleyball skills and I’m 5’3” and not 6 feet, I will not be doing that either.

Why, yes, I am from the great state of Kentucky. And not only do we excel at basketball, apparently, football is our latest muse!

If you scroll way down on the rankings, you can find the Texas teams. If you're an LSU fan, you're #1 right now.

A friend stopped me today to tell me about how great Kentucky had been playing, I really didn't know anything about it. Usually, football season is spent waiting for the basketball season. We let states like Tennessee have their time in the spotlight while we practice our 3-pointers.

Could life get more fabulous?

www.instyle.com/hollywoodhair

I haven't had this much fun since I created my own Barbie on barbie.com.

I ate dirty rice for lunch. Why did I think that would be a good decision? Why did someone invent dirty rice? It makes me think of Christina Aguilera's blatantly inappropriate years.

I think from now on, I'll eat clean rice. Or even brown rice. Which is white rice with more melanin.

Today’s cell phone call of the day. Brought to you by AT&T Wireless and your friends from Happy Little Trees.

Her: Beth. You’re not gonna believe what just happened to me!

Me: What happened?

Her: I’m in Kroger. And this old man just asked me out. First he said, ‘Hey! I just saw you!’

I mean, hello! We’re in the grocery store, of course he just saw me!
And then he says, ‘Have you ever tried the plate lunch in the deli? It’s good.’

Then he says, ‘I’m single.’

I mean, what in the world was this guy thinking?!

There were some young cashiers watching, and they called other cashiers over to watch the whole thing.

Why does this happen to us, Beth?

Me: Well, what did you say?

Her: I just walked away. I turned around and pretended like nothing happened. I just walked away.

He was sweating, Beth. I thought, ‘Has this man just come from working out?’ But he was wearing flip flops. He was in the grocery store sweating.

Me: Well, maybe you looked extra cute today.

Her: Well, I do look cute, but come on, ‘Have you tried the plate lunch in the deli?’!

You can get better lines than that off the internet. And what’s with ‘I’m single.’?

If he doesn’t work on his lines, he’s gonna be that way for a long time.

I love Jenni’s Noodle House. It’s one of my favorite restaurants in Houston. My friend, Joi, introduced me to it about six years ago. Last night, I was so excited to see that there was a location now on Shepherd! I told Scott (owner with his lovely and adorable wife, Jenni) that I would put it on my blog. Just a little note to HFBC-ers: he’s Marge Caldwell’s darling grandson.

My favorite menu item is the Art Car Curry. I love that stuff. And I love the Disco Dumplings. The dumplings are divine.

The parking is tight at the new location. And the prices have gone up from several years ago, but so have gas prices. And now Jenni and Scott have a kid, too. I’m excited about their new location, and will be visiting them quite often. Tell them I sent you and you’ll get a free take-home menu. :)

I had a Vegas adventure.

I was a little bit nervous about going to Vegas for Jason and Lacy’s wedding this past weekend, because my friend, Amy, had to cancel, and I was making the journey on my own. I prayed for God to go with me to Vegas so I wouldn’t be lonely or scared. We had a good time. And some pretty crazy adventures.

Another step of faith involved moulah. I didn’t have a lot to take with me to Vegas. I had overextended my monthly Target budget (again) and also overextended my emergency “running-late-or-my-routine-changed” med center garage parking fund ($10/day), so I was a bit low on dough when I arrived. I found out that the shuttle from the airport is $6—compared to the $30 cab ride I was expecting. I actually felt safer on the shuttle than the cab rides I’ve had there. And the monorail was connected to my hotel, giving me easy access from my hotel to The Strip. Through my trip deal, I got a meal voucher, so one of my meals only cost $3.78. I even beat Rachel Ray’s $40 a day! I lived off about $18—including transportation. That, my friends, is God’s provision (and divine help for avoidance of Starbucks and buffets).

On the way back, I flew stand-by because I got to the airport earlier than I expected. The lines for security were ridiculously long. But I knew if God wanted me on the early plane, I would make it. And I did. I was the very last person that was let onto the plane.

God makes such a great travel partner. He even introduced me to lots of new friends, and gave me sweet time with old friends.

My new friends: Jason’s co-workers, Diane, Hope, Gene Simmons, Rick from the Hard Rock Café gift shop, Irma from Carolina Herrera, Jack from Manola Blanik, Candace from Kiehl’s, the Arkansas couple on the plane trip there, Deborah from the plane ride home, and Pete Rose.





My old friends: Jason, Lacy, Ryan, and Robby.



Random celeb sightings in Caesar’s Palace: Frankie Muniz (Malcolm in the Mid) and little Jack Osbourne. My apologies to both for trying to get a sneaky camera shot. FYI, it didn’t work.

And thanks to Kevin for being my GPS and tour guide.

And thanks again to God for blessing me with such a great trip.