Happy Little Trees

My friend, Kari, is in town visiting from Kentucky. She brought along her two-year-old daughter, Katherine. There aren’t enough meals available during their visit for me to introduce her to all my favorite Houston restaurants, but last night, we got to hit Chuy’s. (Isn’t it bizarre that Chuy is a nickname for Jesus? Note: This does not necessarily make the restaurant holy.) http://www.chuys.com/

Katherine was standing on her chair eating Creamy Jalapeno dip for the first time. I really wish I had my camera there. It was a precious moment. She’s a great chip dipper. Then, while Kari and I are talking, I notice Katherine has moved the C.J. dip right in front of her. After a few more minutes, Katherine is seated and then grips both sides of the bowl with her two-year-old hands and puts her lips on the side ready to drink the Creamy Jalapeno.

I can totally relate.

I’ve justified visiting Starbucks by thinking of it as renting space for the price of my coffee. I give them $1.41 for hot tea, and I get to use their space.

Do men like wearing cowboy boots because it’s kind of like wearing heels, but in a manly way?
How did Andy Gibb sing so high like in Stayin’ Alive?

I want to go on a date one day to Cleburne Cafeteria. I believe that being in the presence of 90-year-old couples with canes and oxygen kind of puts things in perspective for a relationship.

I was excited about Veggie Tales being on CBS, but I heard they’re making them take out all references about God. Will they post a message that says, “Content has been edited for TV”?

I'm scared to check out a book at the library because the last one cost me $24.00 in fees--including threats from the library. And I only got to page 43.

The Gap is having a big fall sale. They’re putting boot-cut jeans on sale. It can only mean one thing: skinny-legged jeans are here—boot-cut is out. One day you’re in. The next day you’re out.

On What Not To Wear, they said that skinny-legged pants make women look like ice cream cones.

I really don’t know what to do here. Do I buy the skinny jeans to wear with ballet flats so I can keep up with the trends like Sienna Miller (per InStyle)? Or do I get the bootcut jeans on sale and deem myself free from the chains of fashion, but totally not hip? Hey, maybe I can buy the boot-cut and figure out a way to roll them up where they look like skinny jeans. I just re-discovered tight rolling!

I think I have a hidden twin. I’ve never had my DNA tested, but I know when I do, my DNA will be different from my children that I birthed. Well I haven’t birthed them yet, but when I do, it won’t match unless they take my DNA from my thyroid gland, and only then will it match. All because I have a hidden twin. It’s called chimera. And you could have it, too. http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=2315693&page=1

By the way, my hidden twin made me watch a really stupid movie on LMN (the new name for Lifetime). I got sucked into a two-hour drama that spanned 11 years.

I just noticed these words on the lock on the bathroom door. It said "Hiny Hiders" with the "H" written in a special design.
Yup, that's what it said. Hiny hiders.

Who knew? And of course, google-to-the-rescue reveals the website.
http://www.santanaproducts.com/

After watching Super Size Me http://www.supersizeme.com/ , I declared fast food no longer a part of my life. But then I made a friend who was the poster child for fast food (not pictured). Perhaps it's because this person hadn't seen the door of age 30 yet, but somehow I was entranced by the carefree attitude he had about fast food. Not thinking about trans fatty acids and clogged arteries was a free feeling. When he asked me if I wanted a gordita or a taco, I had to ask what a gordita was, I hadn't eaten at Taco Bell in about 3 years. I chose the taco. It didn't taste disgusting. I liked it.

Then, one day at work, my boss of 110 pounds sopping wet came in with a Taco Bell sack, and I jokingly (but not really) asked if I could have a taco. She freely shared one with me, and, again, I liked it.

Last night, I purposefully searched a neighborhood for Taco Bell so I could have a taco. I had a tough time deciphering the menu, and then I decided on a kids' meal. I got two soft tacos, cinnamon twists, and they also accidentally gave me an apple empanada.

Now, as I sit at my desk the next morning with a stomach ache, I realize that the only border I need to be running to in the Canadian one. Mexico, your fast-food border is not tummy-friendly. Canada, let me in! I want to ski and dance with the elk! Oh great, now I'm hallucinating from all the trans fats because blood to my brain is being blocked!!

I've been walking to a bus stop about a mile from my office to avoid having to sit on the bus so long. I don't sit in the little bus booth because I've seen lots of vagrants hanging out in there, and I can just imagine it being used for a public restroom.

So, I'm standing outside the bus booth, when I see a lady that I've seen before (she never rides the bus, just sits in the booth) coming across the street. She's not using the crosswalk and has just made it over the median when she gets this uncomfortable look on her face like she's hot. Before I know it, I see the red t-shirt come over her head and then realize that this lady is indeed a lady, and not a man, and that she does not have on her over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Then, she keeps walking towards me and takes a seat behind me. I felt like maybe I should say, "Hon, let's put your shirt back on."

But I was basically standing there in shock. No one really seemed to notice. I might have easily been the only one to see this. (Is our world so blind to the homeless that we don't even notice them--NAKED?!) So, whether or not it was the right thing to do, I casually booked it by foot to the next bus stop.

When my bus driver picked me up, I said, "Did you see naked lady back there?" He looked at me with a crazy face (like I was crazy) and said, "No."

Am I living in NY or Houston?! My coworker and I (thank God for cell phones to have instant therapy after something like this) decided that maybe it's a new term for Houston weather, "It will be strippin' hot today with high humidity..." Another friend said, "I've never been that hot."
I was kind of hot that day, too, but I'll stay on the shirts team. Let's leave the skins to the mens.