Happy Little Trees

Tomorrow is haircut day. I like haircut day. I usually have the best hair before haircut day which always makes me nervous about getting a haircut. It's like my hair wants to play a trick on me that day by saying, "See how great I look? You don't need a haircut!"

Since I have a committed relationship with my hairdresser (as in, he is my main squeeze hairdresser), it's become a more pleasant experience. I trust him and his abilities. We can chat. He knows where my gray hairs hide. We can hug at the end of the cut and still be friends.

But the last time I saw him, he asked me about my move. I was a bit confused. Because I didn't move. Then, we both realized he had me confused with my sweet friend, Lisa, that also gets her hair cut there, and did indeed move. I accepted the confusion, because Lisa is beautiful and wonderful, so in his mind, we can be one and the same.

I went to Target yesterday for toothpaste, Q-tips, and hair gel. I was on the phone with my friend, Amber, while I walked into the store.

Me: Oh! This purse is so cute! But it's hot pink...do I need a hot pink purse?
Amber: I thought you were buying toothpaste?
Me: Oh, yeah...toothpaste...
Amber: Why are you in the purses??
Me: I don't know! They are right by the entrance...I just automatically go here...

I bet there are more people than me that go in Target for toothpaste, Q-tips, and hair gel and wind up in the Bermuda Triangle of Purses and Accessories, too.

This weekend, I will be traveling to a small little town in Texas for some "camping" with some teenagers. Part of me is excited, but another part of me is nervous that things that I covet will be interrupted: like sleep.

Last night, I was such a lazy bones and could not peel myself off the couch. I watched my Max Headroom-style HD converted TV as it stuttered its way through an epidsode of 30 Rock (by the way, that show makes me laugh), and then debated on if I should drag myself over to the YMCA to watch the rest of the show while burning calories. Before I knew it, I was asleep on the couch. Falling asleep on the couch happens quite frequently since I've hit my 30s. I remember my parents used to do that a lot.

I finally made it up to bed and dropped like a light. The next thing I remember is that it was 3:00 a.m., and I was awake ready to go. I tried going back to sleep, but in the interim, I entertained myself by watching Dave Barnes YouTube videos. If the X in me never met the other X, but instead met a Y, I wish I could be just like Dave Barnes. He is funny to the bunny.

So, perhaps with or without teenagers in my life, I don't always sleep well, so I will no longer fear the aspect of not having sleep this weekend.

Over the holiday, I paid a visit to Wal-Mart. In my home county in Kentucky, visiting Wal-Mart can be the major event of the day. While there, you run into old friends and can explore shiny new products. It can be fun.

But during this past visit, I was overwhelmed (and maybe because of the recent popularity of the site "People of Wal-Mart") by the fashion of my native people.

Now, I'm not claiming to be a hot commodity of fashion. I am a bit of a trend seeker, so I can hit some fashion whammies from time to time, but I have watched enough What Not to Wear to get by in life without being embarrassed most of the time.

But fot my native people, because I care about you and say this in love, here's some fashion rules delineated by the three major faux pas I noticed at Wal-Mart: Camouflage, Cats, and Carhartt.

Camouflage
Only wear camouflage during hunting season.

There is an exception to the rule above if you really love camouflage. In that case, wear only one camouflage item. Mix and match it with another solid, but avoid a solid from the other two categories represented in this guide.

Cats

By Cats, I'm referring to our beloved Kentucky Wildcats. If it's game day, go for it! Deck out! For a trip to Wal-Mart, a Wildcat shirt is okay, but Cat wear should not be worn on a date, for work, church, funerals, weddings, or for dinner.

A t-shirt sporting your college team can be cute for running around town, but again, be sure to pair it with another non-college item.

Carhartt

Carhartt is a great jacket and they make great overalls. Remember, these garments are made for work, not play. If you are a farmer, please use your Carhartt to protect you from the elements. If you are not a farmer, please do not wear Carhartt overalls as your daily wear.

The irony is that I rarely ever see the true 3% of the population of the county that are truly still farmers not following this rule.

The jacket can serve a purpose of finding that inner country-boy look, but do not pair it with the camouflage or the Cat-wear. Those items should not mix for outings beyond the woodline.

I realize it can be tough not to disobey the guide above, because everybody else it doing it, right? But I encourage you, to be bold, be brave, and wear something a bit more flattering. It will instantly make you appear dapper, take the look of ten pounds off your body, and ten years off your appearance. I promise.

I'm cold fighting today. I think I might actually have a mini-strain of the flu. I had chills and body aches last week, so I am left now with a very stuffy head.

I am taking lots of homeopathic stuff, and just heard about another something or other that Dr. Oz recommends, so I will pay my homage to Whole Foods, and see if I can feel a bit better.

Once I'm better, watch out! I am all ready to go full force with the "Beth Gets in Shape" plan. It's going to consist of my old favorites: interval running, free weights and machines. And maybe I'll add in some new weird YMCA class. Those are always highly entertaining. If I could find my DVD remote, I would include workout DVDs, but for now, I can only play the introduction since I need the remote to get to the other playlists.