Happy Little Trees

I'm housesitting right now. Every house has some unique feature. This home has a Gazelle.

I used it in during commercials the other night and I really think...it did absolutely nothing. I've got more of a workout from an escalator. On the other hand, it is kind of fun for about five minutes. And if you have a ponytail like Tony Little, it will sway back and forth while you use the Gazelle.

Why is today going so slow? I feel like I've been driving around Big Ben about 200 times.

Usually, I have constant phone calls and e-mails at work. And work is piled to my forehead. Today, I think I've gotten six e-mails. And zero calls. No personal text messages or anything. Have I become a communication junkie? I've check Lori's blog five times and she hasn't updated it. I'm chewing on a straw right now for entertainment. It's really scary how much work I don't have on my desk anymore.

In a strange turn of events, I got to go home last weekend. It was glorious. My older sister, Traci, turned 40 and I got to be there. We were all in our 30s and now, she's broken the record. It's really weird that I can still remember what she looked like when she was probably only 13. And now she's 40.

Traci taught me how to read, how to brush Barbies hair without pulling it out, how to color in the lines (and then apply the same technique to driving--stay between the lines), how to make reading the word a priority, how to laugh at yourself (and others sometimes--only because we sympathize), and now, how to eat organically.

1. Starbucks would give you free drinks for reading books like an adult Book-IT! program.
2. All credit card APRs would be 0%. And stay that way.
3. My company would give me a cost of living raise everytime the cost of gas went up.
4. They would also furnish me an Apple laptop and a Motorola Q.
5. Tax deductions would be given for buying designer clothing. Save those receipts!
6. Models would be back on magazine covers instead of actors.
7. I could take a shower and get my clothes on in the morning on a conveyor-type thing like George Jetson.
8. A car being little wouldn't necessarily mean it was unsafe. The mini is so cute and the rabbit is back!
9. The drive home to see my family wouldn't be so long. Bring on the Ruby Red slippers!
10. I could have my own cable access show like Wayne's World. Excellent.
DREAM BIG!

My friend, Robin, just got engaged. (Not the foof-head--the one in N.C.--foof-head is still a swinging single for now) Anyway, her then, boyfriend, now fiance, took her up to Mt. Pisgah, and where he had a little picnic-y thing set up. But then they went to see the sunset on the Blue Ridge Parkway, and that's where the magic happened.

She looks so stinkin' happy I love it. This girl is amazing. I met her at precious Camp Hollymont years ago, and we affectionately call her Nibor because of the time she painted her name on her forehead using a mirror. Oh! And if she gets married in Asheville I have another excuse to visit again!! Congratulations Nibor and Nasoj (I mean Jason)!

I'm making three posts today. This is the first one.

49 people were killed yesterday in a plane crash in Lexington. My boss asked me about it today, and I had no idea what she was talking about. Because I live far away in the country of Texas, and my precious Granny was the only one in the family to watch the news. It's really sad. And it makes me sad. God, the great comforter, be with their families.

On MSNBC, there's a video clip of a couple that was on their way to a honeymoon. It's always so bizarre the way media pounces on things. In a way, it helped me to have more understanding of the situation, and in another way, it's just weird. Less than 24 hours after a tragedy, and you're interviewing friends probing them for answers to share their grief.

News=Weird. "Tell me about how much you miss your friend."--"Now let's get back to our segment on TomKat's baby's stolen umbilical cord being auctioned on Ebay. How much would you pay?" (not a real segment--invented for example's sake only)

Sometimes I do all of these things. Sometimes none.
1) Watch reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond or Friends.
2) Watch E! gossip t.v. and think, "Why am I watching this?"
3) Eat crackers and cheese (or hummus).
4) Eat cereal.
5) Think about working out.
6) Think about doing Pilates.
7) Get back in my bed and wonder if it's too late to nap.

My mom called today and said, "Don't get hysterical, but Troy [my brother] cut off his thumb with a saw."

It's the tip of his thumb right below the nail. They were going to take him to Louisville to a hand surgeon, but after the doctors conversed, they decided there weren't enough blood vessels to reattach. My mom said he wants us to call him Stumpy now. We're going to have to alter all his mittens. I miss my brother's thumb. He's always had super long and skinny fingers. Now he's got a conversation piece.

My brother is a bi-vocational minister and was really happy he got a job with a local factory. In that area, you can either work for the school system, the hospital, or a factory. He feels very blessed to be working there, but my mom said we should pray for him a new job. I'm from a very accident prone family.

Troy said he realized that in one second, everything changed. Too many things done carelessly, and then there was an accident. He's glad it was not worse. Please pray that the pain isn't too much.

Last night on AdultSwim (only the result of late night channel surfing), I found Pee-Wee's Playhouse. I used to watch that every Saturday. His refrigerator is the best part. The food had a 70s theme going on inside. I still don't like Terry the pterodactyl. It is so annoying. But it brought back Saturday morning memories.

Here's a list of my favorite Big Kid Cartoons:

1. The Triplets of Belleville - This soundtrack is swinging and hoppin'. I got some songs off iTunes from it. I don't think there's but four lines in the entire movie, but it's a great story.
2. The Corpse Bride - I thought it was going to be really bizarre, and it was a little bit, but I liked the well-developed characters. I just don't know at what age children should watch it. It could freak them out.
3. SpongeBob - I liked him before anybody else did. I started watching it with my niece, Marissa, when I used to stay with her. She was going through a Rugrats stage, and after it was over, she would call for me to watch SpongeBob. My nieces and nephews also like to quote parts to me of the episode where Sandy the Squirrel misses Texas.
4. Sleeping Beauty - What could be better than Prince Charming coming to your rescue while you're sleeping? You go to sleep single, wake up, and ta-da! There's your true love! And he's not even grossed out by your bedhead, bad-breath, or pillow drool.

Pictured to the left is another friend, Robin. We roomed together during my student teaching in a place affectionately known as The Crack House (because there was a larget crack in the building). She's a foof-head, like me. And she's an artist (work shown belongs to kids, not her). And she can be found on www.myspace.com/robinheltsley (i think).

I wish Robin lived in Texas with me, so I could point at her fuzzy hair and laugh; instead of catching glimpses of my own fuzzy hair. Misery loves company. Nothing is able to tame my insane mane in this humidity. What was the humidity today, like 99%?

Today, I feel like reminiscing a bit about high school or just remembering some peeps from yesteryear. Pictured is my friend, Amanda, from high school. She just got back from visiting Alaska. She said if she can tackle a glacier, she can tackle her desk at work.

Amanda and I were the only students of French III when we were seniors. Our biggest project was using vis-a-vis markers to make little slides illustrating a Moliere play. It looked more like a third grade project when we were finished, but the best part was spending an hour giggling out in the hallway so we wouldn't disturb the real class. I remember one day I somehow wound up on the roof of the high school. Just for fun. We never learned French very well. Formidable. Oui. Oui. Amanda's passion is for fashion, I'm glad to see that she used nice primary color accents in her outdoor wear.

Another high-school friend, Kari, is coming to visit me in Houston in about a month. I'm still kind of taken aback that she wants to come visit me. I've said, "Do you know where I live? My apartment is VERY small." She said she would just pretend like she's camping, so I hope she maintains that attitude after the shock of smallness wears off after she sees my place.

I actually clicked on classmates.com today and found out that I really am the only person in my class who is a swinging single and childless. The option for being single on the bio says, "Single and lovin' it." Puh-leeze. I would pick, "Single and it's all good."

Is Starbucks a place which promotes friendship and comradery? Or is it a place that nickels, dimes, and dollars me to a sugary, coffee subexistence? These are the quintessential question of today's times.

http://starbucksgossip.typepad.com/

Yes, I am the girl who wanted to print t-shirts that said, "I Got Hit By the MetroRail." And now we're friends.

I lost my bus pass, so I had to go to the downtown transit center to get it replaced. All I could picture was me being mugged as soon as I stepped off the train. Luckily, the train went on past the Greyhound station which looks like a prime mugging spot, and scooted me on to the fancy-schmancy transit center. Inside, it has a nice, tall escalator that leads you to heaven. From there, I filled out my paperwork and got some free passes until my new pass is processed.

Before I got back on the train, I noticed a couple that was probably in their 70s. They were trying to figure out which train went north so they asked my help since I am MetroWoman. The woman, who was more talkative, said that she had left Houston in 1958 when it was just a small town. So now, she and her husband were exploring. She added, "Doesn't that sound like fun?!"

I watched them as they found their seat on the train. They were spending the day just riding the train around. She gave constant commentary. Her husband tried to follow along, gripping his collapsible cane and squinting through his Sally Jesse Raphael-bifocals as the scenery rushed by. As I walked back to work, I hoped that one day when I'm in my 70s, I'll be able to explore Houston with my bifocaled honey-bunny on whatever Metro people mover exist at that time.

I went to the doctor today because of white spots on my tonsils. No need to fear. I don't have strep. But I was pretty embarrassed.

Apparently, my tonsils which are always swollen and look really scary can easily gather food and bacteria in the little pits on them. So essentially, I have food in my tonsils. I had googled "white spot tonsils" before I went to the doctor, so when he told me this, I was familiar with the scenario; I just thought it was crazy when I read it. Do I have to brush my tonsils now? There's no way I can floss back there.

http://www.itonsil.com
Chronic cryptic tonsillitis - Cryptic in the case of the tonsils refers simply to the tonsillar crypts which are little pit-like depressions in the tonsils. The word "cryptic" comes from the Greek "kryptos" meaning hidden or concealed. Thus, cryptic tonsillitis may be concealed because it is down in the pits (of the tonsil) and may not be causing apparent symptoms.

I've become addicted to www.snopes.com.

Here's the scenario: 1) A co-worker sends me a forward. 2) I skim it for discrepancies. 3) I type in the e-mail title into the Snopes search. And then 4) WHAMO! It's a fraud.

Who are the people that invent these e-mail forwards? It seems so bizarre. Is it a way to attain fame? I confess I tried to start author one myself once about saving Twinkies. I found out a Twinkies factory was closing, and it really disturbed me. I wanted to get the word out.

Perhaps I am a wee bit "random" from time to time. Kind of like an iPod on shuffle mode.

My favorite blog: http://jimmyandjen.blogspot.com/
It used to be all about their travels in India and now it's all about their new baby. They are very precious friends. They are friends that are so cool they give their baby fake tattoos. When I get a baby, I'll do the same.

My favorite food: Port wine cheese spread.

My favorite thing to do while I drive: Listen to Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion. I'm really scared about seeing the movie.

Why look?! I did have a theme! These are a few of my favorite things. Houston version: When mosquitoes bite, when fire ants sting, when my hair looks bad, I'm soon to remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel soooo sad. :)
Did I mention I love cheese?

Today through a website sent to me from a co-worker, I learned that people have needs to cleanse their colons. And when they do, the results are staggering. Or shall I say, completely disgusting!! On the website people have actually included their pictures near the stuff that came out of them. If I ever pose by anything that came out of my body, please take my temperature and label me insane.

I looked at the website right before lunch, and I haven't been the same sense. I still feel weak. Tonight, I'm going to ask my sister, who knows everything, if this is true. If someone else knows everything, check this out and see if it's true. But I warn you, do not view before eating!

http://www.drnatura.com/colon-cleansing.html

I'm so happy right now I could do the Robot. I almost just started doing the Robot right in the middle of my office. Perhaps when David danced, he did the Robot, too.

I've been really, really wanting to go on my church's mission trip to Kenya. My friend, Susan, is leading it, and she is a Kenyan. My heart really has been touched by Africa over this last year and the need that the kids have for the love of God. I'm one of those weird people who's always wanted to go. "Please, send me, God! I want to go!" But I never felt it was the right time. Or God's time.

This time my limitation is moo-lah -- which can be a very intimidating thing. It doesn't grow on trees, you know. Nor does it grow in my wallet. But I did get the vacation days approved today. So if God is leading you to send a redhead to Africa, you found me!! Or just pray for me. Aye (I think that means thank you. Or it might be asante or something.) Now I have to tell my mom. She's going to think I'm crazy. But I think she already knows that.

Today there was free food at work. Pizza and wings. I've been trying to detoxify my body a bit, so I was going to avoid the wings, but they looked tantalizing, so I sampled two labeled "Buffalo".
I ate the wings noticing that my fingers were turning orange and thinking orange fingers probably weren't appropriate for a lunch meeting. While I was focusing on the orange fingers, I was trying not to focus on the possibility of my chicken appearing to be rather pink. I tried to pretend it was just the orange sauce fading into the meat.

After lunch was over, several other people got the courage to talk about the "too pink" chicken. So now I think I might have food poisoning just waiting to manifest itself in my body. I looked online, and I think I can take charcoal tablets or something called arsenicum. If no one has heard from me, and it's been a few days, please come looking for me. Be sure to wear rubber gloves and possibly a mask.

I left my wallet at home today. I dug in my desk and came up with three dimes and about 42 pennies. I bought a piece of pita bread at the mediterranean place in the food court for 50 cents. I felt like it was my manna.

I was so glad to have food to eat today. My stomach likes to feel full rather than empty. It changes my whole mood depending on what is in my stomach.

I read a quiz once that said, "Do you often eat until your immobile?" It makes me laugh picturing myself like that; because I think we've all done it. Maybe the question should say: "Do you frequently ask friends to roll you away from the table?"

Last night I woke up and had to pray. It was probably 1 a.m. I prayed for about an hour. And then read John Piper. It was a discussion about to live is Christ, but to die is gain. Sweet time. And then I slept much better.

Everytime I wake up in the middle of the night, I feel like Samuel. And I have to listen. When God calls, you can't just roll over. You've gotta listen.

1 Samuel 3:10 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
10 The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

I don't know how to post pictures. I want to put pictures on my blog, but I don't know how. The whole "html" thing really scares me. I don't own a digital camera. And I don't own a computer except for the 1997 e-machine that sits on my floor with a Yu-Gi-Oh sticker. The monitor is bigger than my television--so 2003, I know.

These are my confessions. Everytime I say that phrase I sing it like Usher in my head, and I feel like I get a pained expression of my face like he does in the video. Not that I watch videos. Only VH1 on Saturdays to catch the top 20. Gotta stay hip.

I also wanted to add a quiz to my blog, and I totally html-messed it up. It was from my friend, Dovie's blog. I would post the link, but I just don't know how.